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American Wannabes Podcast

Every week, comedians Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragoza talk life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness as (basically, more or less) real Americans.
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Now displaying: Category: comedy
Apr 10, 2018

Jerry and Jesus are fresh off the plane from San Antonio! They learned absolutely nothing about The Alamo and displayed their ignorance on social media. They were also interviewed on morning TV, where Jesus wanted to display his ass live on the show.

Jerry and Jesus consider taking their relationship to the next level after Texas. Christian definitely expects them to f*ck soon.

A detour into fighting leads the Wannabes to discuss UFC's thirsty-ass publicity stunts, WrestleMania, and the epic San Antonio barbershop throwdown started over mixtapes.

Then, Christian finds out Jesus is uncircumcised. Yes, really. He has all the same questions you do, so you better listen.

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SHOUT OUT TO OUR BOYS: Catch Jerry and Jesus as guests on the Desmadre Podcast ... Click the link to hear them on YouTube!

SEE AMERICAN WANNABES STAND-UP: GLENDALE, AZ, Jerry G From HP is there one night only this Sunday, April 15 @ 7pm at the Stir Crazy Comedy Club. Or come see him at a meet-and-greet Saturday night at Fuego Bar and Grill in Tolleson, AZ!

WATCH FOR ANNOUNCEMENTS: The American Wannabes will be recording their first live show at the NoHo Comedy Fest! Details soon.

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Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragoza.

Apr 2, 2018

Jesus drags Jerry for last episode's pity party. But Jerry has gotten zero date offers since his break-up went public. And Christian's daughter caught him smoking weed.

The Wannabes consider the smash hit Roseanne revival.

Most importantly: THE PREGUNTAS SEGMENT is back, baby! First, the guys break down hip hop slang words, such as Drip, Gucci, Bible, and Snatched. Then they clarify hipster slang like Askhole, Boomerang Child, Ear Jacking, and Frak.

Jesus has THOUGHTS on liberal parenting. In a huge shocker, Jerry is not comfortable with Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith allegedly having an open relationship. And Christian declares he's quitting the 'pulling out' game forever.

Stay tuned for updates on the conception of Christian's next kid.

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LATER THIS WEEK: Catch Jerry and Jesus as guests on the Desmadre Podcast ... It's like a bonus American Wannabes!

LAST CHANCE: THE UNDEPORTABLES Tour starts THIS WEEK, April 6, 2018 in San Antonio, TX at the Empire Theatre. Tickets are ON SALE via Ticketmaster. Click here to book!

WATCH FOR ANNOUNCEMENTS: The American Wannabes will be recording their first live show at the NoHo Comedy Fest! Details soon.

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Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragoza.

Mar 26, 2018

Jerry and Christian shout out a special thanks to Brawley, CA for an amazing show. Jesus is NOT onboard. He bombed.

Then, Jerry reveals he got dumped two weeks ago! He says it's the first time it's happened without him doing something wrong. Jesus and Christian play social media detectives to piece together the timeline. The Wannabes disagree on the wisdom of rebound sex.

When Christian asks if the guys believe in karma, Jesus reveals that he believes he is cursed. He never sleeps and can't enjoy being happy. Well shit, that took a dark turn.

All this, plus a bad set helps Jerry realize he can't make gay jokes in 2018. Christian wonders if he secretly loves Trump.

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BREAKING ANNOUNCEMENT: The American Wannabes made the cut for the NoHo Comedy Fest podcast lineup! Get ready for our first live show! Details soon.

COME SEE AN AMERICAN WANNABES STAND-UP SHOW: Jerry and Jesus headline Clearwater Casino in Seattle, WA, March 27!

THE UNDEPORTABLES Tour starts April 6, 2018 in San Antonio, TX at the Empire Theatre. Tickets are NOW ON SALE via Ticketmaster. Click here to book!

Follow/DM @ComedianJerryG, @JesusComic89, or any of the guys on Facebook for tickets and info on upcoming dates.

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Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragoza.

Mar 19, 2018

The guys discuss their latest AMIGOS THURSDAY show at The Comedy Store, where the great Paul Rodriguez dropped in!

Jesus goes OFF on their buddy/fellow comedian Raul Reyes, who wanted to close the show WITHOUT EARNING IT. Jerry shouts out a happy birthday to his son while dressed like a gangster. Christian vapes weed on Facebook Live, inspiring a friend to out what company he works for.

Then, the Wannabes play audio of a woman explaining her views on cheating. Jesus and Christian lose their shit as Jerry explains how women should always be held to a higher standard than men (because he has such great respect for them). Christian claims ladies don't want a big dick. And Jesus is blown away to learn that most women own vibrators.

We end with the Wannabes responding to a comment from the Chingo Bling episode, about them "talking over one another."

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COME SEE AN AMERICAN WANNABES STAND-UP SHOW: Flappers Comedy Club in Claremont, CA, March 23 and 24.

Jerry and Jesus headline Clearwater Casino in Seattle, WA, March 27!

THE UNDEPORTABLES Tour starts April 6, 2018 in San Antonio, TX at the Empire Theatre. Tickets are NOW ON SALE via Ticketmaster. Click here to book!

Follow/DM @ComedianJerryG, @JesusComic89, or any of the guys on Facebook for tickets and info on upcoming dates.

---

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragoza.

Mar 12, 2018

You asked for it. You demanded it. You bitched that it hadn't happened yet. Finally, Mr. CHINGO BLING himself joins the Wannabes in-studio for a bonus-length episode!

Jesus says Jerry's style is whack. Christian's wife wants a baby, so he got a new dog. Jerry still hates traffic, and Chingo is HERE for that.

The Houston superstar joins the guys for a deep conversation about his life and career. Chingo talks about going from college radio host to chopped-and-screwed dirty south rapper to the first non-black artist on the cover of Source. Then, how he transitioned to his first love: stand-up comedy. Hear how Chingo learned to hustle at the flea market, turned down a movie deal, bombed horribly as a comedian, and left behind his aluminum foil grill (true story), all on the road to success.

Plus, meet Marisol, Chingo's hard-as-nails road manager / pregnant wife! She's the one kicking you out of the VIP.

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COME SEE AN AMERICAN WANNABES STAND-UP SHOW: Flappers Comedy Club in Claremont, CA, March 23 and 24.

THE UNDEPORTABLES Tour starts April 6, 2018 in San Antonio, TX at the Empire Theatre. Tickets are NOW ON SALE via Ticketmaster. Click here to book!

Follow/DM @ComedianJerryG, @JesusComic89, or any of the guys on Facebook for tickets and info on upcoming dates.

---

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragoza.

Mar 6, 2018

Jesus wants to see DUNKIRK, but Christian tells him it's not what he expects. Christian wants to see THE SHAPE OF WATER, and Jesus' recap starts with "she finger bangs herself every morning." Christian gives a rave review of I, TONYA.

Jerry shares an article titled "11 Things That Make People Less Attractive," and the guys discover Jerry has a pretty confusing double standard.

Then, hear the story of Jerry's CARS audition for Disney, which did not go well. Jesus admits he once backed out of a part in a Mexican TV docuseries when he found out he was playing a pedophile. 

Christian asks everyone to share the biggest lie they've told to get with a girl.

We end with an update on the Deep Dimples/Jerry "bitches" situation.

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COME SEE AN AMERICAN WANNABES STAND-UP SHOW: Flappers Comedy Club in Claremont, CA, March 23 and 24.

THE UNDEPORTABLES Tour starts April 6, 2018 in San Antonio, TX at the Empire Theatre. Tickets are NOW ON SALE via Ticketmaster. Click here to book!

Follow/DM @ComedianJerryG, @JesusComic89, or any of the guys on Facebook for tickets and info on upcoming dates.

---

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragoza.

Feb 28, 2018

Jesus thinks texting is for pussies. Christian eats charcuterie while his daughter flunks her classes. A fan defends Jerry after last episode's savage beating, but Jerry's too proud to accept.

The Wannabes remember their early days slaying skeezas with all the most questionable moves: Smirnoff Ice, pretending to be drunk, and going after freshmen. This culminates in the ridiculous story of how Jerry lost his virginity on campus, during school hours, in an elevator.

Jerry also gets super real about the challenges of raising three sons by two moms, who sometimes don't believe they're brothers.

Finally, the Wannabes stop off in Wakanda to talk Black Panther. The only spoiler you'll get: Michael B. Jordan vs. Jerry G. from H.P. is about to be the new celebrity feud.

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COME SEE AN AMERICAN WANNABES STAND-UP SHOW: Flappers Comedy Club in Claremont, CA, March 23 and 24.

THE UNDEPORTABLES Tour starts April 6, 2018 in San Antonio, TX at the Empire Theatre. Tickets are NOW ON SALE via Ticketmaster. Click here to book!

Follow/DM @ComedianJerryG, @JesusComic89, or any of the guys on Facebook for tickets and info on upcoming dates.

---

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragoza.

Feb 19, 2018

Listener “Deep Dimples” gives thoughtful compliments to Jesus and Christian.

Then she drags Jerry HARD. So he goes on an epic rant to clear up some misconceptions.

The Wannabes all talk about the words they used growing up that are no longer OK. Jesus laments the loss of some seriously questionable slang.

Jerry tells the story of having to call in a bodyguard after making a fan’s boyfriend jealous.

Jesus tells the story of catching his little brother in a “private moment” in the bathroom.

Finally, Amigo’s Thursday is back at the World Famous Comedy Store in Los Angeles! Click the link above for tickets.

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THE UNDEPORTABLES Tour starts April 6, 2018 in San Antonio, TX at the Empire Theatre. Tickets are NOW ON SALE via Ticketmaster. Click here to book!

Watch the show notes, or follow/DM @ComedianJerryG, @JesusComic89, or any of the guys on Facebook for tickets and info on upcoming dates.

---

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragoza.

Feb 13, 2018

The guys give on-point Valentine advice. Jesus uses Buy-One-Get-One offers to please his side chick. Christian 'borrows' gift ideas from friends. And Jerry refuses to put effort into anything, including sex.

Jerry and Jesus both have experience being a "side dude." The more they tell, the worse it gets. Then, Jerry has a close encounter with middle-aged swingers, and Jesus envisions the future of relationships destroyed by "the youth."

Plus, bathroom etiquette, the extra benefits of Jerry's "Girls Gone Wild" subscriptions, and how weird it would get if the Wannabes had Kanye money. Finally, the guys try out some new material!

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BIG NEWS! THE UNDEPORTABLES Tour starts April 6, 2018 in San Antonio, TX at the Empire Theatre. Tickets are NOW ON SALE via Ticketmaster. Click here to book! If that link doesn't work, try clicking here.

Watch the show notes, or follow/DM @ComedianJerryG, @JesusComic89, or any of the guys on Facebook for tickets and info on upcoming dates.

---

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragoza.

Feb 6, 2018

The Wannabes have glimpsed the future. It is time to talk about DEEP FAKE PORN. But first...

Jerry's back from a depressing birthday, while Christian's back from a relaxing vacation. The guys talk Super Bowl, where Jerry lost a ton of money, nobody loved Timberlake, and all the commercials were whack.

Christian's all about Kylie Jenner giving birth, while Jesus is all about Kylie Jenner, all over.

Jerry and Jesus just got back from Tempe, AZ with Chingo Bling, where Wannabes listeners represented. Big shout out to y'all. Jesus thinks the Wannabes need a comedy vlog, but Jerry's not so sure.

Jerry's more interested in his career as the funny guy of porn.

Finally, the Wannabes talk step-sister fantasies, and how they all wished their parents would split up so a hot step-sister could move in. That's when Producer James brings up the Deep Fakes. This shit is MIND-BLOWING.

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragoza.

 

Jan 29, 2018

Guest starring Chingo Bling, Christian's wife, Jesus' angry dad and some of our dopest listeners!

The Wannabes spend their 50th episode chilling with Coronas and taking calls from fans. Jerry tells the story of how American Wannabes came to be. Jesus reminisces on visiting some of America's most important landmarks, like a strip club in Washington, D.C. Christian gets a short-lived ego boost from his wife calling into the show. Also, Jerry bought bootleg Vicodin in Tijuana, which reminds him of that time Viagra almost killed him.

Thank to our loyal listeners for growing this podcast over 50 amazing episodes, and we can't wait to bring you 50 more.

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragoza.

Jan 23, 2018

Chappelle and John Mayer popped in on the Wannabes' weekly stand-up show: Amigos Thursday at the Comedy Store!

Jesus was very impressed with how Mr. Mayer smelled.

But first, the final update on Jerry's missing $300! Did he man up and take back what was his?

Then, the guys give tips on shoplifting: Jesus likes to use the bottom of the grocery cart, Jerry's kids are helpful in creating a diversion, and Christian sees people steal everything from steaks to condoms to baby formula at his day job.

Jerry takes us back to his Thug Life days. He got banned for life from J.C. Penney and got his ass whupped by concerned citizens for taking part in the L.A. riots.

Finally, Jesus met Post Malone and freaked the F out.

Plus, a VERY SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT for the Wannabes' upcoming 50th Episode!!

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragoza.

Jan 16, 2018

The Wannabes react to a viral clip of a kid getting caught with his pants down. They reminisce about when they first discovered, and then got discovered, spanking the wanking...choking the chicken...slapping the monkey. You get it.

Jerry says he could never be a porn star because the fluffer would get him off, leading to a disagreement about who the fluffer actually is on a porn set.

Christian teaches the guys new words for 2018.

Jesus recently came through in the clutch for Jerry and Christian, but he has no idea what that means, almost sparking an argument.

Jerry's feeling fly with cash to burn on ladies during tax refund season, leading Christian to wonder if Jerry's going to get himself "fixed."

Finally, Jesus tries to explain the legacy of MLK, concluding that without the great Dr. King, there'd be no American Wannabes. So give thanks, pinches.

Subscribe to American Wannabes on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragosa.

Jan 8, 2018

The guys reunite after breaking up for the holidays! Stay until the end for Jerry's bold predicition about the 2020 election.

Jesus brought ass cream to his family's White Elephant Christmas party, and all hell broke loose. Jerry can relate, and has a theory about why gag gifts destroy families.

The Wannabes reflect on the mysterious Space-X launch – Jesus thought World War 3 was on, while Jerry assumed Mexico was attempting a space program, which he thought was "cute."

On the positive side, Christian's wife got him the Yeezy's he's been longing for, and he has nothing but great things to say about Netflix's technology-horror show Black Mirror.

Finally, the Wannabes make their New Year's Resolutions – 2018 will be the year this podcast goes global!

Availabile on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

Dec 22, 2017

A holiday gift for all of our loyal fans, the Best of 2017 Episode. 

Listen for favorites like, Christian shits his pants, Jerry takes Jesus to a Bacero brothel, Jesus' football glory days, and more. 

Happy Holidays from the American Wannabes! 

See you all in 2018! 

Available on Apple PodcastsStitcherGoogle Play, or any podcast app.

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

 

Dec 19, 2017

It's the last show of 2017! The guys need to hear from you: What were your favorite Wannabes moments of 2017?

As Christmas nears, Jerry's in a tight spot. He sent $300 to the wrong friend, but neither Bank of America nor the lucky guy are willing to give it back.

After a run-in with an angry cholo, Christian wants to know if you get to regulate curb parking in front of your house.

And in the wake of #MeToo, Jesus is sad to report the number of cougars hitting on him and Jerry is way down.

Plus, the Wannabes discuss the out-of-control epidemic of fake butts!

Available on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app.

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

Dec 11, 2017

The Wannabes drag their asses back from a long weekend and everyone is worse for wear. At least they have a good excuse: An all night karaoke rager with the man, the myth, the legend, Dave Chappelle! Meanwhile, Jerry and Jesus make it back from Visalia without stealing from kids, Christian can't make it through the podcast without stopping to hurl, and Jesus wrestles with his inner demons as the Wannabes tackle the issue of bullying. Then, the relationship politics and practical economics of pimping your own sex robots, and some very special birthdays.

Available on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.


Read more at http://americanwannabes.com/#QwOhyK67JestF7bl.99

Dec 4, 2017

The guys talk Christmas preparation. Jesus hates online shopping, Christians daughter still believes in Santa, and Jerry loves shopping for Jerry.

The, on the great Toys For Tots caper, Jerry and Jesus steal from children in true Grinch style!

Plus, Jerry admits to lying about not having cried, Jesus pussies out of a game of Spoons, and Christian offends the ladies at the TMZ X-mas party. 

Available on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

Nov 27, 2017

The guys recap Thanksgiving and Christian's "Friendsgiving" which Jesus doesn't understand and Jerry thinks sounds like a reality TV reunion show. 

Then they reminisce about their sexual conquests. Jerry with teachers and parents of kids at the school where he worked; Jesus with two girls at the same party; and Christian having a chick he didn't know ask him to make out.

They discuss Jerry getting dumped and debating whether or not he has ever cried over a girl. 

Jesus tells the most embarrassing story in the history of the world about following a girl to a club like a stalker.

Christian gives 12 reasons that a man is a keeper.

Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

Nov 20, 2017

The Wannabes just filmed for HBO Latino and their own project but Christian was nervous and couldn't remember his lines. 

Jerry wants to quit the podcast every week and the guys try explain why he shouldn't. 

Jesus doesn't know what "forefathers" or "pilgrims" means. 

Plus, the guys talk Mexican vs. American Thanksgiving, take a quiz to see how American they are, and go deep into Jerry's previous compulsive gambling. 

They finish off with a little heartfelt list of what they are thankful for this year. 

Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

 

Nov 14, 2017

Jerry, Jesus, and Christian throw shout-outs to listeners. 

Jerry talks Jesus into driving to see him in Vegas because he was already "half way there" which turned out to be over 2 1/2 hours away. They decline to discuss their antics except to say that they got wasted, played footsies in bed, and both barfed on the way home. 

The guys discuss Louis CK and Jesus thinks his behavior is "normal" for someone rich and famous. 

Christian breaks out the "perfect date" questions and stumps the other Wannabes on the right things to say.

Plus, the upcoming recording of their special!

Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

Nov 6, 2017

Jerry is either recovering from the flu or a depression from the Dodgers losing the World Series. He's currently four bobbleheads in debt.

Jesus and Jerry argue over mass shootings and whether or not you're safe in the ghetto. In a dangerous world, only Christian would protect the women and children.

Plus, a five sentence review of the entire Game Of Thrones Series, Jesus un-friending a Stranger Things cast member, and Christian leading on Kevin Spacey for a role. 

And most importantly, the winner of Dominos vs. Papa Johns vs. Pizza Hut vs. Little Caesars is....

Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

Oct 30, 2017

It's the Halloween episode! The guys talk about favorite candies and costumes. 

 

Jerry walks his ass off during Halloween for the kids but taking them out in his hometown of HP was a mistake, unless you like dogs and angry people. 

The guys recount their worst Halloween experiences. Candy gets stolen, people get egged, and somebody gets white-faced.

Christian regrets saying he had swamp ass and other terrifying tales from the Wannabes. 

Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

 

Oct 23, 2017

Jesus and Christian kick it off with Christian's anniversary trip which involved mostly f*cking and farting. Jesus admits to shitting himself more as an adult than he did as a child and Christian wipes once a day whether he needs it or not. 

They trash talk Jerry's selfie game and then he calls in from Mexico where he's king of the village, handing out clothes to the locals. Plus, he "runs the light" talking about his beloved Dodgers for way too long. 

It's an international episode from two countries!

Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

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