Christian's corona test results are back, just like his super-whack hairline. The guys compare middle school girlfriends and their favorite all-time sneakers. Plus, 90 Day Fiancée!

NOTE: This episode was recorded early last week before the protests began in the U.S. The Wannabes will be back with their take on the weekend's events next week.

The Wannabes compare notes on male pattern baldness and the hottest shoes back in the day, from Jordans to K-Swiss. Plus, how their sneaker game attracted the bad b*tches in middle school ... and the problems that come with bad b*tches.

Jerry's kids interrupt him when he's creeping on Instagram hoes. Jesus has been watching 90 DAY FIANCÉE, where the drama is HIGH between desperate foreign chicks and old American weirdos. Speaking of which, Jerry was disappointed by the selection of available chicks at his Mexican family reunion.

Plus, the evolving languages of the mother country, and Jesus has an on-point premonition when he notices how crazy people are getting, like something really bad is about to happen...

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Christian had to get tested for the 'Rona. Jesus is back in LA, and he's tripping over Echo Park tent-f**king. And Jerry is flunking kindergarten all over again!

Jerry’s got complaints about the official Wannabes facemask, while Christian is looking more and more like a Chia Pet every day.

Jesus went 1-on-1 on the basketball court with A-rab Fern, and he’s got complaints. Christian accuses Jesus of selective IG editing to hide the fact he got even worse since he went 1-on-1 with Jerry.

The guys agree that Jerry’s dad game has gone next level in quarantine, but Christian went all the way viral for his top-tier dadding. Too bad Reddit got almost all the details wrong.

Then, Christian reveals some details on upcoming meat shortages. The Wannabes return to explore the fine line between gay and straight due to a big surprise in Christian's family. Fernie considers the prospect of getting back to work at Dodger Stadium by July 4.

And finally: How do dads nowadays have "the talk"?

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Christian's hair sputters back to life, Jerry and Jesus stare down the barrel of a future with no comedy, and Fernie's room leaves the ladies bone dry.

The guys are watching WACO on Netflix, but they're unsure if they can trust it. Regardless, they are very intrigued by the sexual prowess of cult leaders.

The guys return to the epic Michael Jordan docu-series THE LAST DANCE, and share even more coronavirus "news" (?) and conspiracy theories! Plus, the guys scam Zoom live on the air.

Then, girlfriends get extra thirsty at the NFL Draft, and Jerry is flying extra-solo for the pandemic.

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Jerry just realized YouTube is a thing! The guys discuss their shameful pasts in talent shows and school band, then share thoughts on Michael Jordan.

Jerry made the gayest YouTube video imaginable, literally. Find out how it compares to Back To The Future. Christian isn't healthy enough to jog. Jesus' dad has him doing landscaping and he's not coping well.

The guys go deep on THE LAST DANCE, the Michael Jordan documentary, and realize they don't know much about Jordan. But Jerry hated his guts, and is for some reason furious at Scottie Pippen.

Then, HOW IS THE CAT-MAN COPING WITH CORONAVIRUS?!

And the Wannabes get real about what it takes to have multiple wives.

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Christian busted another bad guy. Fat guys are pulling bad bitches and Jesus is SHOOK. Jerry's not down to parent babies. And Jesus has all your Covid conspiracies!

Sh*t is getting crazy. Nascar drivers are out here dropping n-bombs with the hard R. Neighborhood walkers are trying to kill each other. And Christian and Jesus debate how the virus spreads with very, very accurate information (por supuesto).

A listener question leads MULTIPLE Wannabes to admit that being a wingman led to them getting married. Jerry gives Christian a LOT of unsolicited parenting advice.

Meanwhile, the NextDoor app is trying to take down Christian. Jerry wants to know the best way to hit on chicks with a mask. And Jesus discovers evangelicals have started a social media challenge to donate their stimulus checks to pastors.

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The Wannabes go live on Instagram to catch up on their quarantines, and it's just as messy as you'd predict!

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The Wannabes wrestle with Skype in an attempt to record an episode from quarantine! Tiger King is heavy on their minds, and Jerry threw a coronavirus birthday!

Christian is humble about being a true hero, and offers up-to-the-minute secrets from the grocery store front lines. ARE THEY RECEIVING SHIPMENTS OF TOILET PAPER AND HAND SANITIZER? You gotta listen to find out...

Then, Netflix's epic TIGER KING makes the guys consider what it would take to flip gay.

Plus, Jerry's discusses his son's budding influencer stardom with NICKY G'S FUN TUTORIALS (on Jerry's Instagram).

Jesus is going stir-crazy in Arizona.

Finally, the Wannabes contemplate their future post-pandemic.

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The Wannabes' numbers dwindle in the face of coronavirus, but Jerry and Jesus are determined to stay positive.

Or as positive as they can...

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The only coronavirus updates you’ve been waiting for: The Wannabes weigh in from quarantine as Christian calls in from the grocery store front lines.

Live on the air, Jerry gets the news that his kids will be home from school for the next month. Jesus almost got quarantined in Mexico. Christian is deep in the heart of coronavirus panic.

Jerry drops knowledge on real life zombies. We find out Fernie’s a "three-fire guy."

The Wannabes share airport stories, from celebrity encounters with Mike Tyson to ghetto Mexican airline scares to Jerry finally watching Best Picture winner PARASITE.

Then, the guys watch in real time as men lose the war against feminism on LOVE IS BLIND.

Finally, a real quote from Christian, live on the phone: "I can only get away for like two minutes but it's f**king crazy in here!"

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Jesus is feeling the pressure for his upcoming Mexico comedy tour, the guys have been watching too much sad stuff, and Jerry has a major Patreon announcement!

The Wannabes have thoughts on THE GABRIEL FERNANDEZ STORY, MARRIAGE STORY and BETTER CALL SAUL.

Jesus lost a woman with Alzheimers, but it wasn't his fault. Christian's happy with how the show handled Jerry's trans would-be lover. And Jesus wants to distinguish between gross versus rude when it comes to farts, which starts a deep dive on being gross.

That deep dive ends with Jerry debating the morality of creeping on an ex's IG model daughter... 

Also, Jesus chews in your ear throughout the podcast. Don't skimp on sending him hate-DMs for disrespecting you like that.

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The boys are back from a wild stretch on the road, full of stories about an obsessed fan and an Instagram baddie with a wild secret and a vibe for a Jerry G.

The HBO Latino ENTRE NOS tour has begun, and the Wannabes are all over the map. Jesus encountered his first mega-fan and it got awkward.

But the real news: Jerry met the girl of his dreams, the guys all agree she's smoking hot. But now it's time for all the Wannabes to keep it 100 -- what do you do when a transgender woman is hotter than any woman you've ever dated?

Finally, the guys bring that fresh review for Netflix's NARCOS: MEXICO.

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Jerry promises 1 hour and 23 minutes on NARCOS Season 2, but the guys have other ideas. Like Jerry getting ripped off AGAIN. Plus, first BJ stories!

Jesus shuts down Narcos talk early, but other TV recommendations fly fast and furious: Christian's loving McMILLIONS on HBO, Jesus calls out LOVE IS BLIND on Netflix.

But first, Jerry tried to set up a nice family outing and got completely scammed.

Then, which Wannabe flunked kindergarten, and who almost flunked out out fifth grade?!

Finally, in true Wannabe fashion, first kiss stories inevitably transform into first blowjob stories. Enjoy!

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The guys break down how to write funny jokes, inspire the next generation of basketball stars, and swap stories of scammy promoters who try to rip off comedians.

Jerry wants to know what happened to The Irishman, and the Wannabes hate on Best Picture winner Parasite even though none of them have seen it.

Jerry works out new jokes live on the show. He's a boy-dad who identifies as a girl-dad. Is that funny? The guys go down the rabbit hole of Jerry's joke-writing process.

Big off-season moves by the Dodgers got Jerry and Fernie hyped in the SPORTS MINUTE. Then, disgraced ex-intern Raul Reyes just dragged his ass through town.

Finally, Jerry and Jesus swap stories of scumbag promoters who ruin their gigs on the road. The AUDACITY, bro.

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The Wannabes celebrate their 3-year anniversary episode with some light cross-dressing and the most controversial debate ever ignited by a Super Bowl!

Jesus is still hating on Lizzo and the guys are not feeling it. Then, the question on everyone's mind: Is it cool for dudes to wear female underwear?

Crimebuster Christian talks about busting fools using fake money. Jerry remembers buying counterfeit $100 bills as a teenager.

Then, the guys discuss the ins and outs of hotel parties, and finally ask the question that just may tear Mexico apart: If it came down to SHAKIRA vs. SELENA, who you got??

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Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragoza.

The Wannabes pay respect to Kobe Bryant. Then, is Eminem a legend? Jerry likes the Aaron Hernandez documentary a little too much, and Christian's no snitch.

Jesus has a fool-proof plan for picking the Super Bowl winner: Who's got the hotter quarterback? Plus, the guys swap tips on how to be more romantic.

Christian recounts his trip to Big Bear. Meanwhile, Jerry can't get enough of the Aaron Hernandez story.

Finally: Would you turn in your significant other if they killed someone? Christian has this one all figured out. Do you agree??

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The Wannabes rage against the DMV, the Houston Astros, and Delta Airlines. Plus, Jesus has up-close-and-personal experience with a human with a tail.

Christian just got injured from a car accident, so Jerry and Jesus come through with cutting-edge legal advice.

The SPORTS MINUTE is back with a straight-up scandal for Dodger Nation! The Wannabes are livid and unleash their thoughts on the thieving Houston Astros.

BREAKING LOCAL NEWS: Jerry wishes he was there for the falling jet fuel to get some of that sweet lawsuit money. But Christian's way more interested in the baby with the rat tail.

Then, the guys try to hash out their upcoming tour live on air. And Jesus describes his recent San Diego showcase - the worst experience of his life.

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Disgraced intern Raul Reyes makes a surprise call-in, and it's a dud. The Wannabes review some major shows and movies, then indulge in some classic over-sharing.

Christian wonders if eating out of your own trash is okay. Jerry and Jesus are hesitant to get onboard with the British comedy FLEABAG.

Then, the guys talk THE MANDALORIAN and RISE OF SKYWALKER, wherein Jesus gets to say "I told you so."

Jerry's SPORTS MINUTE includes updates from El Gym de Garcia, plus his Super Bowl prediction!

And finally, the Wannabes school you young'n's on the trials and tribulations of trying to watch porn in a pre-internet age. Jesus and Christian share stories we should probably edit out, but here at American Wannabes, we let that shit ride.

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The Wannabes are back!!! In 2020, Christian declares "no more fast food bullsh*t," Jesus is obsessed with Gilmore Girls, and Jerry's a brand new man! Again.

The guys share their New Year's Resolutions. They're mostly about not dealing with attitude, indifference and false advertising from god d*mn fast food restaurants.

The guys rave about Netflix's DON'T F**K WITH CATS, but no spoilers because Jerry hasn’t finished it. So watch it and we’ll see you next week.

The big question of the episode is related to Jesus' new binge-watch: Is Jesus wifed up for 2020?!

Then, Christian schools the guys on the prospects of war with Iran the only way he knows how: By being half-right at best, but really loud about it. And mostly wrong.

Finally, Jerry reveals he almost got kicked out of his apartment.

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The Wannabes reminisce on their favorite moments of the past year.

The guys discovered lots of great TV in 2019, like Netflix's amazing "When They See Us." Jerry's getting a tattoo after he gets his arms right. And the guys appreciate Sexiest Man of the Year John Legend, but not his wife.

Finally, the Wannabes run down their lists of the greatest actors of all time.

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Jesus discovers the Grindr for sports while Jerry and Christian share stories of being the Chambelan at quinceñeras.

Then, the Wannabes discuss life before dating apps. The hot meetup spot was in party lines, but were you ever happy with the cholas you’d meet there??

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Fernie recounts his adventures in Saudi Arabia! The guys recap the Ruiz vs Joshua fight, try to understand Islam, and prep for Jerry's stint as Grand Marshall.

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WE NEED YOUR HELP! The annual BEST OF episode is coming soon, so please send us your favorite Wannabes moments from 2019! Comment on our Apple Podcasts or on Instagram: @americanwannabespodcast @comedianjerryg @jesusthecomedian @chriszpics

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Christian is MIA, but the Wannabes have a more important absence to discuss: The complete lack of booze or women's bodies anywhere in Saudi Arabia. What did Fernie do while there to see the fight?

The guys discuss the horror of traveling in foreign countries and try to understand how Islamic theocracy works.

Jerry is about to be the Grand Marshall of the Huntington Park Holiday Parade! Come out to support.

Jesus tries to set the youth on the straight and narrow, but you can't tell fools nothin nowadays.

Jerry and Jesus share stories of the worst corporate gigs they ever played – a true Wannabes holiday tradition!

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The guys review Instagram's new status quo, Jesus needs to duck a ticket, and Christian returns to break down The Mandalorian.

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WE NEED YOUR HELP! The annual BEST OF episode is coming soon, so please send us your favorite Wannabes moments from 2019! Comment on our Apple Podcasts or on Instagram: @americanwannabespodcast @comedianjerryg @jesusthecomedian @chriszpics

***

Jerry's furious that Instagram is killing 'Likes,' just as he's hitting his peak. The guys try to convince him it’s a good thing. Jesus dares people to come after him in his IG comments.

Then, “Cuffing Season” is upon us, and Christian's the only Wannabe who's ready. "Shoplifting Season" is also in full swing, but Christian is ALWAYS prepared for that. Jesus tells a story of getting caught stealing.

Finally, an explosive argument somehow erupts over gum flavors, and Jerry is happy that Christian is back to weigh in on Disney+ and teach an extended class in Star Wars For Dummies.

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The guys ditch Christian, as Fernie gets ready to head to Saudi Arabia and Jesus plays Sherlock Holmes in the hood. Jerry almost poisons himself live on air.

Jerry is now a Disney+ guy, and he's using it to introduce his kids to classic Simpson's. Jesus is shocked to discover Nazis in South America.

The Wannabes reminisce on embarrassing memories growing up ghetto. Then, Jerry drinks a mystery Coke from the garage and his insides start to melt.

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The PREGUNTAS segment returns, the Wannabes get athletic, and Christian reveals Disney cheated him out of fame and fortune!

Fernie debuts some morning zoo sound effects, and the guys are not impressed.

In PREGUNTAS, Christian reveals his deepest feelings about going bald.

Jesus almost got arrested, and STILL, he gets no support in trying to revive The Basketball Challenge.

Then, the guys talk old movies and Christian sings the praises of the Disney Plus app. Christian also claims he wrote a movie in second grade that was stolen by Disney. The guys don’t believe him...Do you?

Finally, bonus episodes coming soon - American Wannabes review Netflix's SELENA: THE SERIES!

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