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American Wannabes's Podcast

Every week, comedians Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragosa talk life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness as (basically, more or less) Americans. For real.
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Feb 19, 2018

Listener “Deep Dimples” gives thoughtful compliments to Jesus and Christian.

Then she drags Jerry HARD. So he goes on an epic rant to clear up some misconceptions.

The Wannabes all talk about the words they used growing up that are no longer OK. Jesus laments the loss of some seriously questionable slang.

Jerry tells the story of having to call in a bodyguard after making a fan’s boyfriend jealous.

Jesus tells the story of catching his little brother in a “private moment” in the bathroom.

Finally, Amigo’s Thursday is back at the World Famous Comedy Store in Los Angeles! Click the link above for tickets.

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THE UNDEPORTABLES Tour starts April 6, 2018 in San Antonio, TX at the Empire Theatre. Tickets are NOW ON SALE via Ticketmaster. Click here to book!

Watch the show notes, or follow/DM @ComedianJerryG, @JesusComic89, or any of the guys on Facebook for tickets and info on upcoming dates.

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Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragoza.

Feb 13, 2018

The guys give on-point Valentine advice. Jesus uses Buy-One-Get-One offers to please his side chick. Christian 'borrows' gift ideas from friends. And Jerry refuses to put effort into anything, including sex.

Jerry and Jesus both have experience being a "side dude." The more they tell, the worse it gets. Then, Jerry has a close encounter with middle-aged swingers, and Jesus envisions the future of relationships destroyed by "the youth."

Plus, bathroom etiquette, the extra benefits of Jerry's "Girls Gone Wild" subscriptions, and how weird it would get if the Wannabes had Kanye money. Finally, the guys try out some new material!

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BIG NEWS! THE UNDEPORTABLES Tour starts April 6, 2018 in San Antonio, TX at the Empire Theatre. Tickets are NOW ON SALE via Ticketmaster. Click here to book! If that link doesn't work, try clicking here.

Watch the show notes, or follow/DM @ComedianJerryG, @JesusComic89, or any of the guys on Facebook for tickets and info on upcoming dates.

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Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragoza.

Feb 6, 2018

The Wannabes have glimpsed the future. It is time to talk about DEEP FAKE PORN. But first...

Jerry's back from a depressing birthday, while Christian's back from a relaxing vacation. The guys talk Super Bowl, where Jerry lost a ton of money, nobody loved Timberlake, and all the commercials were whack.

Christian's all about Kylie Jenner giving birth, while Jesus is all about Kylie Jenner, all over.

Jerry and Jesus just got back from Tempe, AZ with Chingo Bling, where Wannabes listeners represented. Big shout out to y'all. Jesus thinks the Wannabes need a comedy vlog, but Jerry's not so sure.

Jerry's more interested in his career as the funny guy of porn.

Finally, the Wannabes talk step-sister fantasies, and how they all wished their parents would split up so a hot step-sister could move in. That's when Producer James brings up the Deep Fakes. This shit is MIND-BLOWING.

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragoza.

 

Jan 29, 2018

Guest starring Chingo Bling, Christian's wife, Jesus' angry dad and some of our dopest listeners!

The Wannabes spend their 50th episode chilling with Coronas and taking calls from fans. Jerry tells the story of how American Wannabes came to be. Jesus reminisces on visiting some of America's most important landmarks, like a strip club in Washington, D.C. Christian gets a short-lived ego boost from his wife calling into the show. Also, Jerry bought bootleg Vicodin in Tijuana, which reminds him of that time Viagra almost killed him.

Thank to our loyal listeners for growing this podcast over 50 amazing episodes, and we can't wait to bring you 50 more.

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragoza.

Jan 23, 2018

Chappelle and John Mayer popped in on the Wannabes' weekly stand-up show: Amigos Thursday at the Comedy Store!

Jesus was very impressed with how Mr. Mayer smelled.

But first, the final update on Jerry's missing $300! Did he man up and take back what was his?

Then, the guys give tips on shoplifting: Jesus likes to use the bottom of the grocery cart, Jerry's kids are helpful in creating a diversion, and Christian sees people steal everything from steaks to condoms to baby formula at his day job.

Jerry takes us back to his Thug Life days. He got banned for life from J.C. Penney and got his ass whupped by concerned citizens for taking part in the L.A. riots.

Finally, Jesus met Post Malone and freaked the F out.

Plus, a VERY SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT for the Wannabes' upcoming 50th Episode!!

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragoza.

Jan 16, 2018

The Wannabes react to a viral clip of a kid getting caught with his pants down. They reminisce about when they first discovered, and then got discovered, spanking the wanking...choking the chicken...slapping the monkey. You get it.

Jerry says he could never be a porn star because the fluffer would get him off, leading to a disagreement about who the fluffer actually is on a porn set.

Christian teaches the guys new words for 2018.

Jesus recently came through in the clutch for Jerry and Christian, but he has no idea what that means, almost sparking an argument.

Jerry's feeling fly with cash to burn on ladies during tax refund season, leading Christian to wonder if Jerry's going to get himself "fixed."

Finally, Jesus tries to explain the legacy of MLK, concluding that without the great Dr. King, there'd be no American Wannabes. So give thanks, pinches.

Subscribe to American Wannabes on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or your favorite podcast app!

American Wannabes is a weekly Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda and Christian Zaragosa.

Jan 8, 2018

The guys reunite after breaking up for the holidays! Stay until the end for Jerry's bold predicition about the 2020 election.

Jesus brought ass cream to his family's White Elephant Christmas party, and all hell broke loose. Jerry can relate, and has a theory about why gag gifts destroy families.

The Wannabes reflect on the mysterious Space-X launch – Jesus thought World War 3 was on, while Jerry assumed Mexico was attempting a space program, which he thought was "cute."

On the positive side, Christian's wife got him the Yeezy's he's been longing for, and he has nothing but great things to say about Netflix's technology-horror show Black Mirror.

Finally, the Wannabes make their New Year's Resolutions – 2018 will be the year this podcast goes global!

Availabile on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

Dec 22, 2017

A holiday gift for all of our loyal fans, the Best of 2017 Episode. 

Listen for favorites like, Christian shits his pants, Jerry takes Jesus to a Bacero brothel, Jesus' football glory days, and more. 

Happy Holidays from the American Wannabes! 

See you all in 2018! 

Available on Apple PodcastsStitcherGoogle Play, or any podcast app.

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

 

Dec 19, 2017

It's the last show of 2017! The guys need to hear from you: What were your favorite Wannabes moments of 2017?

As Christmas nears, Jerry's in a tight spot. He sent $300 to the wrong friend, but neither Bank of America nor the lucky guy are willing to give it back.

After a run-in with an angry cholo, Christian wants to know if you get to regulate curb parking in front of your house.

And in the wake of #MeToo, Jesus is sad to report the number of cougars hitting on him and Jerry is way down.

Plus, the Wannabes discuss the out-of-control epidemic of fake butts!

Available on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app.

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

Dec 11, 2017

The Wannabes drag their asses back from a long weekend and everyone is worse for wear. At least they have a good excuse: An all night karaoke rager with the man, the myth, the legend, Dave Chappelle! Meanwhile, Jerry and Jesus make it back from Visalia without stealing from kids, Christian can't make it through the podcast without stopping to hurl, and Jesus wrestles with his inner demons as the Wannabes tackle the issue of bullying. Then, the relationship politics and practical economics of pimping your own sex robots, and some very special birthdays.

Available on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.


Read more at http://americanwannabes.com/#QwOhyK67JestF7bl.99

Dec 4, 2017

The guys talk Christmas preparation. Jesus hates online shopping, Christians daughter still believes in Santa, and Jerry loves shopping for Jerry.

The, on the great Toys For Tots caper, Jerry and Jesus steal from children in true Grinch style!

Plus, Jerry admits to lying about not having cried, Jesus pussies out of a game of Spoons, and Christian offends the ladies at the TMZ X-mas party. 

Available on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

Nov 27, 2017

The guys recap Thanksgiving and Christian's "Friendsgiving" which Jesus doesn't understand and Jerry thinks sounds like a reality TV reunion show. 

Then they reminisce about their sexual conquests. Jerry with teachers and parents of kids at the school where he worked; Jesus with two girls at the same party; and Christian having a chick he didn't know ask him to make out.

They discuss Jerry getting dumped and debating whether or not he has ever cried over a girl. 

Jesus tells the most embarrassing story in the history of the world about following a girl to a club like a stalker.

Christian gives 12 reasons that a man is a keeper.

Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

Nov 20, 2017

The Wannabes just filmed for HBO Latino and their own project but Christian was nervous and couldn't remember his lines. 

Jerry wants to quit the podcast every week and the guys try explain why he shouldn't. 

Jesus doesn't know what "forefathers" or "pilgrims" means. 

Plus, the guys talk Mexican vs. American Thanksgiving, take a quiz to see how American they are, and go deep into Jerry's previous compulsive gambling. 

They finish off with a little heartfelt list of what they are thankful for this year. 

Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

 

Nov 14, 2017

Jerry, Jesus, and Christian throw shout-outs to listeners. 

Jerry talks Jesus into driving to see him in Vegas because he was already "half way there" which turned out to be over 2 1/2 hours away. They decline to discuss their antics except to say that they got wasted, played footsies in bed, and both barfed on the way home. 

The guys discuss Louis CK and Jesus thinks his behavior is "normal" for someone rich and famous. 

Christian breaks out the "perfect date" questions and stumps the other Wannabes on the right things to say.

Plus, the upcoming recording of their special!

Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

Nov 6, 2017

Jerry is either recovering from the flu or a depression from the Dodgers losing the World Series. He's currently four bobbleheads in debt.

Jesus and Jerry argue over mass shootings and whether or not you're safe in the ghetto. In a dangerous world, only Christian would protect the women and children.

Plus, a five sentence review of the entire Game Of Thrones Series, Jesus un-friending a Stranger Things cast member, and Christian leading on Kevin Spacey for a role. 

And most importantly, the winner of Dominos vs. Papa Johns vs. Pizza Hut vs. Little Caesars is....

Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

Oct 30, 2017

It's the Halloween episode! The guys talk about favorite candies and costumes. 

 

Jerry walks his ass off during Halloween for the kids but taking them out in his hometown of HP was a mistake, unless you like dogs and angry people. 

The guys recount their worst Halloween experiences. Candy gets stolen, people get egged, and somebody gets white-faced.

Christian regrets saying he had swamp ass and other terrifying tales from the Wannabes. 

Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

 

Oct 23, 2017

Jesus and Christian kick it off with Christian's anniversary trip which involved mostly f*cking and farting. Jesus admits to shitting himself more as an adult than he did as a child and Christian wipes once a day whether he needs it or not. 

They trash talk Jerry's selfie game and then he calls in from Mexico where he's king of the village, handing out clothes to the locals. Plus, he "runs the light" talking about his beloved Dodgers for way too long. 

It's an international episode from two countries!

Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

Oct 16, 2017

Jerry joins the Latin Kings Of Comedy, Jesus opens for Chingo Bling, and Christian performs in Riverside with people sitting on the stage. 

The guys discuss getting threatened/befriended by cholos at their shows, the Rock dissing Tyrese, Eminem dissing Trump, and Game Of Thrones. 

Plus, with the big Harvey Weinstein scandal they ponder what they'd do for a big movie role. Find out which Wannabe would give a HJ for his big break!

All this and much more. 

Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

Oct 9, 2017

Midnight misses his flight and returns for round 2 with Jerry, Jesus, and Christian. 

Christian celebrates his anniversary this week while Jerry admits that he was faded at Christian's wedding. Jesus finally found the garter he caught all this talk makes Midnight want to get married.

Plus, Jerry doesn't remember some of the girls he slept with, Jesus used to grind on teddy bears, and Midnight serenades the Wannabes!

 

All this and much more. 

Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

 

Oct 4, 2017

Jerry, Jesus, and Christian welcome their good friend Midnight to the show. The guys start off in a somber mood discussing the tragic event in Las Vegas. They switch up to discuss the passing of Hugh Hefner and ponder whether he had a huge penis. Then, Christian's first road gig, Jesus plans to get fat when he's successful, and Jerry becomes a king. Plus, how old was Midnight before he realized he was Mexican? 

All this and much more. 

Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

Sep 25, 2017

The Wannabes go hard at Kevin Hart who "made the block hot" for guys by getting caught cheating. Jesus thinks ballers should only cheat with baller chicks, Jerry anonymously "outs" a friend who cheats, and Christian sticks with his "good guy" image by explaining how his wife's ring was the biggest purchase of his life. 

Plus, Canelo vs. GGG, Jerry's gray hairs, natural disasters in Mexico, Houston, FL, and Puerto Rico, and who wouldn't survive the zombie apocalypse. 

Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

Sep 18, 2017

Christian doesn't like Jesus's "3rd leg" but is really into bush right now. 

Jesus got recognized as "Big Dick Daddy". 

Jerry would rather cheat than have a threesome. 

Plus, the guys go deep on what men really want, the definition of cheating, if it's okay to text with your exes, number of sex partners, and lying. Fun for the whole familia!

Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

 

Sep 11, 2017

The guys dig into Trump, the end to DACA, and what they'd each to in Mexico if they got deported. 

Jerry and Jesus get into a huge argument over the spoiling of Game Of Thrones. 

Christian's favorite character from Narcos is "gangster" for "making out with dudes". Jerry would do a gay scene to be in Narcos 4. 

Plus, checking out chicks when you're with your girl, 7 Signs That You're Gay, and what's really important in a relationship!

Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.



Sep 5, 2017

The guys thank their first "sponsor" then take a dive right into the Mayweather vs McGregor fight. Jerry thinks it was scripted and Jesus admits that he hates UFC because his ex cheated on him with an MMA fighter. 

Jesus shares a harrowing tale of taking the bus from AZ to CA including drug addicts, homeless people, mean security guards, and a very scary tiny cholo. 

Things take a turn when Jerry brags about winning raffles at bachelor parties and showering with a stripper. Christian spends most of the episode panicking that his wife won't let him go on the road with the other Wannabes after this. 

Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

 

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